Before mediation, I will ask you to prepare a statement that summarizes the case from your perspective.
I will not share this statement with the other party, but you may choose to do so yourself.
This statement will help you organize your ideas and can be used for your opening statement during the mediation.
Here are questions you may want to ask yourself when preparing this statement:
What is important for me to share during mediation?
Unlike in court, where parties have a limited opportunity to speak, mediation gives you an opportunity to talk about what really matters to you. It may be useful to know ahead of time what you’d like to talk about (or to hear another person at the mediation talk about)
Your/their experience
How you/they have been impacted
How you/they are feeling
What do I expect from the mediation?
In most cases, a court can only order money damages if they rule in favor of a plaintiff. In mediation, you may ask for other things that are often not available in court, like:
Explanation
Apology
Items returned
Better relationship
End of a relationship (no contact
Do I want money retribution? How much?
If you want monetary reparation, be ready to justify how you came up with the amount.
What if mediation fail?
Before attending mediation, it is helpful to understand what your options are if mediation doesn’t result in a settlement. What if you don’t settle the case in mediation?
What proof should I bring to mediation?
Bringing communication, receipts and other proofs may help during mediation but this documents won't be used to persuade the mediator but the other party.
Remember that the mediator will not pick sides and will be asking all parties about what they have experienced and what they want to get out of mediation. Be prepared to listen to what the other party has to say.
Speaking with a lawyer before or between mediation sessions is recommended.
You may also bring a lawyer to mediation. The Court website of your state may be a useful resource in how to find a lawyer or how to get legal information.
If you cannot afford an attorney, you may want to visit the following website: https://www.LawHelp.org. This website lists legal services organizations. Many offer legal advice and services for free or low cost to those who qualify.
Please note that court employees cannot give you legal advice. Court employees cannot decide if mediation is right for you. Court employees cannot tell you which individual mediator you should choose.
Who needs to be at the mediation? Mediation works best when the right people are present. This usually includes:
Parties to the case – anyone who has been named in the court case. Parties and/or their attorneys should always be present in mediation.
Attorneys – parties’ legal representatives. It is up to each party and their attorney to decide whether the attorney will attend. No other party, or the mediator, can restrict their attendance.
Other stakeholders – people who are not named in the case, but who are involved in the subject matter of the case or who might be affected by whatever is decided. All parties and the mediator must agree on their attendance.
Support people – people whose main role is to be of support to the parties. All parties and the mediator must agree on their attendance.
Interpreters – people whose sole function is to aid people with different primary languages to communicate in mediation.
If you need language assistance, the court will help provide an interpreter if (1) your case has already been filed in court; and (2) the court has referred your case to mediation. Contact the local court clerk or the local ADR coordinator for further assistance.
In most cases, it is not appropriate for those who would only serve as witnesses in a trial to attend the mediation.
I will start with a 5-minute opening statement covering the basis of the mediation and remind everyone about confidentiality. I will aslo remind everyone my role which is to guide the conversation, manage emotions, and help the parties find common ground.
Then each side will have an opportunity to present their perspective. During that time, I will ask the other party not to interrupt. The duration will depend on the complexity of the case. I will occasionaly ask questions and summurize what is said.
Following this, I will hold "Joint Sessions" with all parties or "Caucuses" which are private, confidential meetings with each party separately. Caucuses allow each side to speak freely and discuss sensitive information with the mediator without the other party present.
Be comfortable but show everyone respect for the process.
Dress to create a professional and respectful atmosphere.
If we hold the session online or in a private office, business-casual attire is best.
If we hold the session in a courthouse, more formal attire will work best.
Relevant Documents: Any documents that support your position, such as financial statements, tax returns, contracts, invoices, or other legal documents. Bring any notes you prepared.
Notes and a Pen: Bring a notebook and pen to take notes, jot down thoughts, and prepare questions for me or your your attorney. At the negotiation stage, I will ask you to write down possible solutions.
Identification: A government-issued ID might be required to enter a building, for formal proceedings or to notorize a settlement agreement.
Personal Items: Bring a bottle of water, a snack, and something distract your during a lunch break such as a book or tablet and something to help you cope with stress like fidget toys.
Mediation is emotionally taxing. Here are some techniques to help you to relax:
Breathing Techniques: learn the "4-7-8 breathing" technique (inhale for 4 seconds, hold for 7, exhale for 8) or focusing on deep, rhythmic breaths.
Take Breaks: I encourage you to take a break whenever you feel overwhelmed. Go out for a walk, climb some stairs, get some fresh air, or simply go to the restroom and splash cold water on your face.
Shift Perspective: Easier said than done, but try not getting caught up in personal feelings. Try to stay objective and focus on the facts and the ultimate goal of resolution.
Set Realistic Expectations: Remind yourself that a successful mediation often means compromise and that the final outcome may not be exactly what you initially wanted. The goal is to reach a resolution that is better for everyone involved than continuing the dispute.
Lean on Support: If you have a lawyer, rely on their counsel for guidance. If your have a trusted family member or friend, you can call them during a break for support, but be mindful of the confidentiality of the proceedings.
After mediation...